About

I have embarked on an experiment that will last for the rest of my life.  I was always very active, very fit, tall and lean.  And then my knees just wore out.  Hindsight tells me I was a little too active, hiking seven to nine miles four times a week up a down hills, doing “The Firm” workouts three times a week, but I could wear anything and had a cut, flat stomach.  I discovered my knees had disintegrated beyond use when I squatted down to pee out in the woods, and I COULDN’T GET BACK UP.  I had to flip over onto my hands and knees, pants around my ankles, and do a downward dog, then walk my hands towards my feet until I could stand up.  Woodland creatures probably wondered about that lady with her bare ass pointing at the sky…

Well that sucked to say the least.  I had been mincing down hills for awhile by then, blaming my dog pulling me for the pain in my knees.  But it wasn’t her fault, it was those damn knees.  No problem, get knee replacements, right?  Wrong.  I didn’t have health insurance, and wouldn’t get any unless I found a miracle job with benefits, which never happened.  I only got contracts and temp gigs–no benefits–so the knees got worse very quickly.

And by 2007 I couldn’t go downhill anymore.  I couldn’t go up and down stairs, or negotiate bleacher seats, or get out of a low slung car.  I was a veritable gimp that could barely walk.  But I still ate like an athlete and the pounds went on, aggravated by unmitigated menopause which seemed to speed up the disintegration of my body.  I went from thin and fit to fat and old before my time.  My blood pressure soared.  I had to go on Lisinopril.  By April of 2013 I was well over 200 lbs., 220 to be exact.

And I didn’t do this willfully.  I tried to eat less and up my “healthy” choices of foods.  I kept gaining.  And it’s not like I ate bad food, fast food, or junk food.  I am a scratch cook and baker.  I live in the country and we grow a big garden and tend an orchard with apples, plums, pears, and cherries.  I never buy or use convenience foods–no mixes, canned soups, or prepackaged anything.  If I don’t bake my own breads, I get Dave’s Killer Bread.  (Oh so good.)  I make our own salsa and marinara from the vast quantities of heirloom variety tomatoes Steve (the husband and gardener) fills the house with in September and October.  I freeze, can, and dry everything and we eat it through the winter and spring.  This is good organic chow, but it still made me fat.

And being fat SUCKS.  I am stranded by my own weight like a beached whale.  It’s hard to turn over in bed, to get up out of a chair, to bend over and tie my shoes.  The fat encases me and restricts my every movement.  I tried swimming but my knees were so loose and floppy I couldn’t kick without shocking pain.  Clothes don’t fit, they migrate.  The tops ride up and the pants shimmy down.  My stomach is like a jiggly beach ball under my shirt and my ass is so big my brain doesn’t know where it starts and ends and I’m constantly backing into things with it.  I should have a backup beeper.  Geesh.

In early April, we were watching TV as usual after dinner, PBS Science, and here was Michael Mosely doing a fast to correct his lipids and glucose levels after being told he was close to getting type II Diabetes.  He fasted three full days, in London in summertime, in pubs hanging with his friends pigging out and swilling craft ales all around him.

He was miserable by day two, getting used to it by day three.  But he made it and his numbers were radically better afterwards.  Then the doctor doing the testing told him he could get the same results by just fasting every other day, three days interspersed, or even just two days interspersed in each week.  And he could eat 500 calories on the fast days.

My little voice said “Hey fatso, you can do this!”  I fasted to trim off weight back when I was in gymnastics when it was a lifestyle to be superfit, light, and agile.  In those days I could almost fly.  Fasting comes pretty easily to me, as long as it doesn’t last too long.  I have always been a meal skipper just because I was busy and didn’t want a full stomach when working out or hiking.

So I started the very next day, choosing to fast on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.  Four weeks in I was down almost nine lbs.  I am in week six today, May 21st, and won’t weigh (officially) again until the first week in June.  But every Friday I step on the scale anyway, and I am gradually losing.  If all goes well, I’ll slip under 200 very soon.

And thanks to Obamacare, I will have insurance by 2014 and get my knees replaced as soon as the coverage applies.  I anticipate next summer I’ll be hiking and doing the Firm again.  Adding exercise to Alternate Day Fasting is going to really speed things up.  And don’t look for fat pics of me.  I won’t let anyone NEAR me with a camera.